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by Mazzysue
Category: Poetry
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: This poem is based on characters and situations created and owned by JRR Tolkien. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Feedback: Yes
Summary: The attraction of L/G fandom
A/N: Written for Arachne.
The slashettes said, "'Rachne, that's weird……
What is it with dwarves, elves and beards?"
"It's the weaving and plaiting……
Like coconut matting……"
And the girls cried, "It's worse than we feared……"
"But just think of soft braids intertwined……
Of the meeting of manes and of minds……"
The assembled shrieked "Squick!
You are making us sick!
We are not hairy-slashwise inclined."
"What's your problem?" asked 'Rachne, now peeved.
Is it hair on its own, or when weaved?
If they use good shampoo
And hot oil treatments too,
I know not why you are so aggrieved……"
So on screen they all watched it unfold.
Sweaty locks swinging, bronze, grey and gold
The desire to tangle
With the tresses that dangle
Stirred up feelings both primal and bold.
And so a new fandom was born
And we called it "The Guild of Unshorn"
And we praise the hirsute
For indeed they are cute
And we write rather good hairy porn.
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Issue No.: 2.6
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